Wednesday, March 13, 2013

KALAMARI - Not So Strongly Worded Letter



AkanmuAbuja@gmail.om
Rating: 8.7/10

March, 2013
Kalamari - Restaurant
No. 3 Bangui Street (Off Adetokunbo Ademola Way)
Wuse 2, Abuja, Nigeria.


Please see the bottom of this letter in the Highlights/Review section, as well as the bold sentences for the brief version of this letter/review.



Letter to Kalamari Management

Dear Kalamari Management,

This is a not so strongly worded letter to express my opinions following my experience at your establishment. I should inform you that this letter is being made available to the public through the internet, primarily for the purpose of empowering or entertaining other consumers curious about your establishment.

I was very positively surprised by Kalamari.

I actually found it harder than usual to find things to complain about regarding your restaurant. I’m not saying you were perfect (as is proof by the 8.7/10 rating), but considering I had dinner here with a friend on one occasion and then attended a friend’s birthday dinner party with about 25 people on a second occasion, I was amused that you didn’t do anything wrong or have any notable weaknesses. Basically, given the price and quality of food here, Kalamari does a great job.

Group Dining Experience:

I’ll assume that it is safe to say Kalamari is a good choice for a dinner party of 10 or more people. During the dinner party, which was on a Saturday (which I’m assuming is one of the busier days for a restaurant), you were accommodating to the birthday girl’s group by rearranging the tables to ensure that up to 10 people could sit together on the two or three tables that were set-up. Furthermore, you had a different menu for the dinner itself than what is on your regular menu. I enjoyed the assortment of appetizers you provided, and although I didn’t think the fried rice and chicken that was the main course were particularly tasty, it wasn’t bad in any way. It was also nice that you gave the guests a choice of beef or chicken with their meals. Furthermore, my friend could choose if to have music playing, which music, and at what volume. All these factors together were most impressive because my friend did not buy out the restaurant for the night and I even noticed that you had one or two other customers come in at some point, meaning you just have enough flexibility to pull a thing like that off. Good job.

All in all, I like that a person can call Kalamari and ask to set up a dinner party and have it go smoothly.

Regular Dining Experience:

Looking through the nicely put together menu made it easy for me to quickly see that Kalamari makes more sense as a choice for lunch than as a choice for dinner. This is proven in there being a wide range of salads and sandwiches to choose from, while there are only four full meals in total. This may explain why your menu has three appetizers that are strictly protein based and non-flour based. I can see why peppered snail, peppered gizzard, and bbq wings may complement a salad or sandwich better than a breaded, baked, or flour-rolled appetizer would. That being said, having something like spring rolls on your menu would probably improve it.
I was particularly pleased by the menu because there are not many (not enough) places in Abuja that celebrate the fact that there are more salad types than a simple chicken salad. Come to think of it, there are many places that simply don’t have salads on their menus at all in Abuja. One thing that did shock me though, was that although there is a bar inside Kalamari, there is no cocktail menu and there is in fact a small range of alcoholic drinks on the menu.

As far as the execution of your meals; I was impressed. The salad I had was well-dressed, while the chicken sandwich was also pretty good. Something that made me particularly happy was that the vegetables that came with all the food ordered were very fresh. The highlight though is your grilled fish. Well-cooked fish is one thing, but well-cooked fish that is properly seasoned and accompanied by the right vegetables is always a winner.

The pricing and portions of food here are very reasonable. A person can have a small lunch that is a salad or sandwich at around 1,500 Naira or less. Even reasonably priced is the large salad and sandwich platter (including chips and coleslaw) at 2,500 and 2,000 Naira respectively. On a similar wave-length, the full meals, which each come with rice or chips and a salad, ranged from 2,500 for chicken, to the most expensive menu item of 4,000 for grilled jumbo prawns. Another plus is that the full meals come in large filling portions. However, I was not pleased to see from the menu that you charged 300 Naira for takeaway packs. Based on principle, I see that as being greedy.

Service here was good and the servers were very helpful.

One thing that I’ve found difficult to do in Abuja is compliment a restaurant for being well-furnished and having a simple but elegant atmosphere. That being said, I commend Kalamari for being well-furnished and having a simple but elegant atmosphere. Overall, it all seems to be modest and understated, rather than trying too hard to be fancy. The white walls with black and white photo prints in certain areas; wooden tables with nice center-pieces; unique ceiling lights that are noticeable without being obnoxious; and a very good use of space to avoid the feel of claustrophobia in the tiny restaurant all add to the experience at Kalamari.

Please feel free to contact AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com if you represent Kalamari and would like to respond.


Warm Regards,

Akanmu

Highlights/Review
1.     This is a ‘not so strongly worded letter’ and thus, positive review.
2.     The food here is pretty good for the most part.
3.     Service here is good.
4.     Seats groups of 2 – 8 and is a good choice for larger groups too.
5.     Although there is a bar in here, there are a thin amount of cocktails and alcoholic drinks available.
6.     The salad and sandwich menu each have much more depth than the actual full meal menu and so this would be a much better place for lunch than for dinner.
7.     The grilled fish is really good.
8.     Salads and sandwiches range 1,200 to 2,500 naira depending on the size of food you want. Full meals range 2,500 to 4,000 depending on which of the 4 you order.
9.     They have a different menu and a different appetizer spread than the regular one if you contract them for a dinner party.
10. They have an all-day breakfast that consists of one large order that is an assortment of breakfast items that costs 3,000 Naira. I haven’t tried it and so I can’t attest to the quality but it seems to be conceptually good (I mean who messes breakfast food up?).
11. There is a choice for a small bottle of wine at 2,500 Naira or a large bottle of wine for 5,000 Naira. It’s not the best wine but it is a comparatively better deal than many places I’ve seen in town who also sell wine by the bottle. 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

YOGURBERRY - Not so Strongly Worded Letter



AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com
Rating: 7/10

March, 2013
Yogurberry - Frozen Yogurt
No. 3 Bangui Street (Off Adetokunbo Ademola Way)
Wuse 2, Abuja, Nigeria.


Please see the bottom of this letter in the Highlights/Review section, as well as the bold sentences for the brief version of this letter/review.



Letter to Yogurberry Management

Dear Yogurberry Management,

This is a not so strongly worded letter to express my opinions following my experience at your establishment. I should inform you that this letter is being made available to the public through the internet, primarily for the purpose of empowering or entertaining other consumers curious about your establishment.

The undeniable awesomeness of frozen yogurt and the fact that this is the first yogurt spot I’ve found in Abuja gets you an automatic 7/10. This means that there was nothing else that was particularly impressive or unimpressive about your establishment worth raising or reducing that score.

To keep it brief, I’ll weigh the positives against the negatives to show how you broke even at the innate 7/10 rating of a conveniently located yogurt shop in Abuja.

-         The awesome set-up outside the store in the form of small tables, some even shaded with large umbrellas and with comfortable chairs, as well as small wooden picnic-style-bench-booths (I really don’t know how else to describe them) is a plus. Unfortunately, a negative is that the seating inside the store makes it seem as though you are trying to convey themes of sparseness and awkwardness (or perhaps I am overdramatizing poor taste in furnishing….which by the way does not simultaneously mean that the place was completely lacking in feng shui or that the tone and feel that a yogurt shop should evoke were missing). More simply put, the fact that inside the shop you have two small tables on one side and then one very long couch that has various chairs placed opposite it, without a table in their middle means that there is either insufficient seating inside the shop or that customers have to deal with the awkward couch setting. One solution may be to put a thin table in front of the mega-couch (TM pending) so that it all doesn’t seem so sloppy. All in all though, this negative aspect is in turn further mitigated in that the colors and overall set-up of the shop end up succeeding to evoke the expected tone and mood of a yogurt shop. However, I cannot ignore the fact that on a hot Abuja day i.e. most Abuja days, there is inadequate seating indoors.
-         You are not winning with your flavors. I mean, it was alright that during my last visit you did not have Strawberry or Mango as promised, but the fact that you’re only rolling with about 5 flavors in total and even at that, Tropical and Plain taste so similar, while pomegranate doesn’t have that kick that should distinguish it from strawberry means you simply did not put too much work into having awesome tasting yogurt. That being said, this negative is mitigated by the positive of there being a lot of toppings to pick from.
-         I am not certain how to feel about service here. On the one hand, there are the two cute and friendly ladies (yes…looks are a plus in this harsh world) who were taking people’s orders, while on the other hand there was the friendly but slightly difficult guy who refused to place my 2 toppings in the bowl before putting my yogurt on top.
o   Here is the thing, I get that you are not yet ready to allow people self-serve their yogurt and toppings, at which point you weigh the overall order and charge based on that. I even won’t complain about how the servers are a little stingy with the toppings, because in truth, the topping to yogurt ratio ends up working well. However, when a customer wants you to put their toppings in the bowl before you squirt the yogurt unto them from the ice-cream dispenser (meaning the toppings being in there first doesn’t interfere with dispensation in any way), you realize that the request is one of those cases when the customer isn’t only always right, but is probably a yogurt-melted-on-cookie-because-cookie-was-placed-in-bowl-first-technique-genius who should get a special plaque and picture on your wall. But it’s okay. The guy was polite about rejecting my request and was clearly only fearful that in some way he may get fired or reprimanded for putting my selected toppings inside the bowl before the yogurt instead of after the yogurt. Silliness.
-         Pricing here is very reasonable. Unfortunately, I cannot really give this to you as a point because I literally would have paid anything for some frozen yogurt on many hot Abuja days and it still did cost my friend and I about 1,500 naira for both of us to get yogurt. I mean, I grew up understanding that yogurt was for the ‘every man’ and so although I don’t think the yogurt is too highly priced and I think the price is worth it, I still can’t add points for you based on the price.
-         You have free samples….As you should. So no extra points for this either.

All in all, good job and thank you thank you for having a yogurt shop in Wuse 2 (meaning it’s basically close to everything that truly matters in the city of Abuja).

Please feel free to contact AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com if you represent Yogurberry and would like to respond.


Warm Regards,

Akanmu

Highlights/Review
1.     This is a ‘not so strongly worded letter’ and thus, positive review.
2.     This place is definitely worth visiting if you like frozen yogurt.
3.     Seating can be a little tricky here on a warm day when you don’t feel like seating outside so it may be better to expect to get your yogurt to go on warm days.
4.     If you are looking for this place, simply go to ASCON petrol station on Adetokunbo Ademola and ask them to direct you to where “all the restaurants on Bangui Street are”.

Friday, March 1, 2013

WAKKIS Indian Restaurant - Strongly Worded Letter



AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com
Rating: 5/10

February, 2013
Wakkis – Indian Restaurant
171 Aminu Kano Crescent.
Wuse 2, Abuja, Nigeria


Please see the bottom of this letter in the Highlights/Review section, as well as the bold sentences for the brief version of this letter/review.



Letter to Wakkis Management

Dear Wakkis Management,

This is a strongly worded letter to express my opinions following my experience at your establishment. I should inform you that this letter is being made available to the public through the internet, primarily for the purpose of empowering or entertaining other consumers curious about your establishment.

10 Things I Love/Hate/Indian Inconclusive Head Nod-Shake about Wakkis

1.     Premier and Easily Found Doesn’t Mean Awesome
I won’t pretend as if Wakkis isn’t arguably Abuja’s premier Indian restaurant. Too bad being a premier choice doesn’t mean that it’s the right choice. I mean I Google search Indian food in Abuja and get a splurge of responses about Wakkis. I ask friends if they know where I can get Indian food in Abuja, and they all say I should try Wakkis. I check Wakkis website and I see an extensive list of Indian food that I have been craving for months, not to mention the fact that the website had clearly been significantly worked on, giving me the illusion that great effort could and should lead to success. So, I decide to visit Wakkis and…insert Indian head nod and simultaneous head shake here.



2.     There’s a Place and Time for Grilling: Not Inside Wakkis Please
The first thing I noticed in your restaurant was the grill. There’s a grill smack in the middle of the ground floor of the restaurant where some chefs actively make food while customers dine. In theory, watching chefs cook the food you are about to eat adds a visceral component to dining. In this case though, the only thing visceral about the grill is that the primitive feeling of being choked in a house/compound where dinner has been cooked is inescapable. Unfortunately, unlike the smell of village firewood cooking, the grill at Wakkis only makes a customer feel choked and not excited for what’s to come.

3.     Smoke Rises
Although my friends and I had found a dining spot that was great in terms of placement and seclusion, we decided to get seats upstairs in order to avoid sitting close to the smoke. Big mistake. Smoke rises and so sitting upstairs at Wakkis is a big mistake unless a customer wants to smell like they camped out overnight under the table of a suya seller (there must be a better word for a professional suya seller, like ‘suyarista’…I’ll keep working on that one). As half of your seating is on the second floor of the restaurant, having that grill indoors was a huge mistake and I needed to emphasize it with a second section.

4.     Poor Service is Insulting, Even When Uneventful
The service at Wakkis is poor and waiters are slow to respond, not to mention that the appetizers we ordered literally never arrived so that when we ate our food an hour and a half after we arrived at the restaurant, we were hungry and didn’t see the point in reminding our waiter that he had failed to bring the appetizers we ordered.
Some things are just easier said than dramatized, especially since the waiters didn’t do anything individually appalling…just a slew of poor things. For example, I won’t get dramatic about the fact that a waiter didn’t approach us with menus until we had been seating for about 15 minutes. I won’t whine about how following our receipt of menus, we still needed to ask a waiter to come and take our order after a long amount of time had passed after we first received the menu. I’ll just say that those things are examples of how poor service at your restaurant is and how you certainly need to make some changes.

5.     Depth
The menu has a very wide range of dishes on it.

6.     Quantity
Each order comes with a lot of food and most menu items have a choice of one out of three side items including Naan, rice, and French fries.

7.     Presentation
It is nice the way the dishes are delivered along with the sides on separate platters. The delivery approach works well because of the size of the tables in the restaurant.

8.     Still not Sure Why Homely Means Ugly
There’s something about this place that makes it a great place for different types of groups. It isn’t fancy, yet it isn’t bland; it isn’t pretentious, yet it isn’t unimpressive; and best of all, the overall set-up makes you feel like the journey to find the excluded (from most other interesting restaurant and businesses) Wuse 2  location was worthwhile. Wakkis is a well-furnished restaurant with nice wooden family-style tables that mostly seat groups of 4 but can also seat up to 8 together. It just seems like a wholesome and practical (except for the hot boxing that the grill forces customers to endure) place you can go to on any random day or on any special day (although I wouldn’t recommend that people spend their special days here…just calling it like I see it).

9.     You Don’t Mess With the Classics
When curry chicken and tandoori chicken do not taste authentic, there’s a problem. It isn’t even just that the tandoori chicken did not taste authentic, it was also very dry. However, I will admit that apart from the bad chicken tandoori, the other items on the menu are nice to eat…not great though. In short, the food is not great or good enough to justify the 3,000 to 3,500 Naira average per customer.

10.  Bad<Wakkis<Nothing Special
Refer to topic of this section.

(Note how I resisted the temptation to end with the words “and most of all, I hate how much I love your restaurant”)
  
Please feel free to contact AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com if you represent Wakkis and would like to respond.

Warm Regards

Akanmu

Highlights/Review

1.     This is a strongly worded letter because my experience at Wakkis was poor.

2.     Don’t make plans to go to other places after Wakkis because you’ll smell like you danced in barbecue smoke…but not in the yummy way…more like in the ‘Indian food breath is never sexy’ way.

3.     Service here is poor.

4.     The food is not great. Okay, I lied…the food is not good (great is a stretch). Not that it’s bad. It’s just not good. Perfectly mediocre is the right way to describe it.

5.     The décor is nice and apart from the smoky air, it is a really nice place to dine.

6.     The pricing is good considering it is Indian food in a well-furnished building located in sub-Saharan Africa. However, considering the mediocrity of the food, 3,000-3,500 naira per dinning guest is too much.

7.     You can find good directions on the restaurant’s website.

8.     The dish sizes are good.

9.     This is a nice place for groups of 4-8.