Silverbird Cinemas - Strongly worded letter

Silverbird Cinemas

Silverbird Entertainment Center

Plot 1161 Memorial Drive

Central Area, Abuja, Nigeria.

Letter to Silverbird Cinemas Management

Dear Silverbird Cinemas Management,

This is a strongly worded letter to address a significantly troubling issue about the service you provide as a movie theater. I should inform you that this letter is being made available to the public through the internet; primarily for the purpose of empowering other consumers.

  

The inconsistent audio quality of the movies you show are not only an insult to your customers, but should also in my opinion bear ramifications that go as far as indignation from movie makers and studios whose films you show.

On Thursday, July 25^th, 2013, about three quarters of the way through the showing of Star Trek: Into the Darkness in auditorium number 10 at the Silverbird Cinemas, Abuja, the audio quality suddenly became poor. It became very difficult to hear the dialogue in the movie, while the film score (which by the way is a significant part of the theatrical experience in a movie like Star Trek) also sounded odd and disoriented. At the time, I remember thanking God that it happened during JJ Abrams' average execution of what should have been a movie at least as great as its first part, and not during a movie like Man of Steel, in which case I would have been beyond upset to discover that I was being denied Hans Zimmer’s amazing music. That being said, despite the fact that I wasn’t upset because Star Trek failed to impress me in and of itself, Michael Giacchino did a good enough job with the movie’s score that I still felt like I lost out by getting poor audio quality while watching the movie. I thought it may have been a slight issue with the speakers on that particular day and simply let it slide.

The reason I have included my analysis of the movie's quality as well as that of the film score is that I want you to understand the gravity of ruining a moviegoer like mine’s experience. In case your employees have told you of “that one guy who stays behind after the main part of the movie is done” so that he can watch the credits and listen to the soundtrack after the movie, I am that guy. I wait until the very end of every movie to find out where the movie was shot, who the moviemakers decided to give “special thanks” to, which music was used for the soundtrack (or alternatively who wrote the film score for the original music used), and even which smaller production companies were involved in the film-making. Watching a movie in a theater for me is an experience not an activity. I do not pay the premium for the overpriced 900% marked up popcorn because I am hungry, but rather because popcorn is indeed part of my movie watching experience. And so, when on Friday, July 26^th, 2013, I walked into auditorium 4 to watch the 6pm showing of The Wolverine at Silverbird Cinemas in Abuja, I was beyond disappointed, but rather felt like I was being directly insulted to find out that the audio quality was so bad that I literally could not hear the dialogue in the movie. Let me reiterate: I COULD NOT HEAR ANY WORDS BEING SAID BY CHARACTERS OR ANY CLEAR PART OF THE DIALOGUE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE BECAUSE THE AUDIO QUALITY IN YOUR THETAER WAS THAT BAD. Now, many other people in the theater literally got up and walked out of the movie before the first act of the film was over. Initially, I wanted to walk out too but stayed because I thought, surely, someone who works for the theater will walk in and stop the movie, apologize to us all, and say we should come and get our money refunded. It did not happen. It is clear to me that Silverbird Cinemas has decided that due to the monopoly it enjoys, there is no need to ensure that it provides quality movies on a consistent basis. I mean, bad customer service is one thing, but what you did by allowing, no FORCING (since we had paid and committed) us to watch a movie in a theater where the sound was so poor that we couldn’t hear the dialogue goes beyond poor customer service and rises to the level of disrespectful customer service. If my disdain for poor customer service causes me to write strongly worded letters to businesses, then you would have to understand why this outright show of disrespect by you is…..I’m lost for words. I hardly ever am.

At any rate, I am a practical person. I realize that an apology from you would not change the fact that I have wasted money, time, and energy as a result of your disrespect for customers. Do I think that this review will suddenly cause people to stop patronizing your establishment? No I do not. What this review will do however is let you realize that although I have only had about 3,000 total views on this blog as of the date of this review, there is one empowered consumer out there…me…who is calling you out on your crap and letting you know that it is not in any way form or shape alright to let a movie in your theater run without the audio quality being anywhere from good to great. The best I can hope for is that whichever movie theater begins to compete with you in the near future, and I suspect it will happen soon, can stumble on this review and add to its own theater’s tag-line quality movies in quality theaters. In fact, better yet, despite not knowing the details of international tort law myself, a man can dream that perhaps one of the movie studios whose movies you show will stumble on this review online and recheck that part of your contract that states that you will not misrepresent the movies they make and in so doing take it upon themselves to either sue you or find a way to audit some of your movie screenings, thus adding to your business costs. And, if all I do end up getting by writing this letter is one online reader who nods their head in agreement, then I have achieved what I wanted because one extra human being out there has been able to note the type of disrespect you are willing to show consumers in the name of monopoly. As the story of Wal-Mart has shown us; there is nothing wrong with a big player or monopoly in an industry…as long as the business doesn’t use its position in the market to take advantage of consumers or employees. You are taking advantage of consumers. Shame on you.

Please feel free to contact AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com if you represent Silverbird Theaters and would like to respond.

Warm Regards,

Akanmu

BLUCABANA - Not so strongly worded letter

AkanmuAbuja@gmail.om

Rating: 8.5/10

Blucabana Restaurant & Cafe

Mabushi District

by Setraco Bldg. (see better address below)

Abuja, Nigeria.

Letter to Blucabana Management

Dear Blucabana Management,

This is a not so strongly worded letter to express my opinions following my experience at your establishment. I should inform you that this letter is being made available to the public through the internet, primarily for the purpose of empowering other consumers.

I have heard about half a dozen different people proclaim that “as soon as I entered (Blucabana), I felt like I was no longer in Nigeria.” It is safe to say that Blucabana is an oasis of sorts in Africa’s most prominent man-made city.

A Diamond in the Rough Indeed:

There is a very specific reason why my mind went to ‘oasis’ when I thought of the best way to briefly describe Blucabana. Located in the Mabushi district of Abuja and away from the hustle and bustle of major city areas like Wuse 2 and Maitama means that customers who patronize your establishment enjoy the feeling of being at a sort of retreat (or even a resort for those who utilize your gym and family playrooms). The oasis feeling is further compounded by the fact that getting to Blucabana involves navigating through an unnamed back road in Mabushi, then travelling a few yards on rough unpaved roads before coming to a gate that opens up into what felt like Qarth to me after my journey through the Red Waste (especially given that I initially got lost trying to locate your restaurant).   

The reason for my dramatic Game of Thrones reference is that the address listed on this letter is exactly the same address listed on your website. To clarify, “by Setraco bldng” is NOT a satisfactory way of letting people know where you are and how to find you. That being said, I could not myself think of an alternative address you could have put on your website and so instead will recommend that you use a rawer description of how to get to Blucabana. For example, my friend’s attempt at describing the way yielded: Take the next exit after the Mabushi junction; Go down a bit until you see a turning to your right just before the Setraco building; Go straight (the road is unpaved); and then take the second right turn.

You’re welcome.

My Blucabana Experience:

I will preface by saying that the comments here may reflect the fact that I am holding Blucabana to a slightly higher standard, and in doing so will linger on some issues I had with your establishment, which given almost any other establishment in town, I may have simply touched on briefly. My legitimate hope is that the points I make here, all of which are easily rectified, add value to your consideration of ways to strive for continued improvement. It is needless to say that my comments notwithstanding, I am impressed by Blucabana.

When I drove in through your gate, it was nice to be assisted with parking by one of your staff. Perhaps the assisted parking combined with my entrance into the main building through a nice open-spaced foyer set precedence and premature expectations, being ultimately responsible for the disappointment that followed when I realized that there was no greeter, captain, receptionist, or hostess to guide me to whichever section of the establishment I was interested in. In fact, I had to on my own walk in through the nice foyer, head all the way to the nice courtyard through the back door of the front building, walk  past the small tables set up outside, turn left in front of the large swimming pool with seemingly blu-er than usual water, and then enter a magnificent dining hall, after which I slowly walked through the middle of the large room, glancing at the tables arranged on the edges of the room in order to find the place where the other members of the group I was dining with was already seated. In other words, although I was impressed by the architectural and interior design qualities of your entire establishment, found the courtyard and large pool to be soothing, and think that the set-up and use of space in the main dining hall is a revelation, I feel you would benefit greatly from having someone greet your customers as they come in; if not for the sake of courtesy, then to at least let them know where they can go to find what they are looking for (not to mention whether or not they can just randomly sit themselves at any table).  

Although the service here is for the most part at a high standard, I couldn’t help but to feel as though the waiters sometimes suffered from a lack of focus and confidence. One of my biggest pet-peeves while dining out is when a waiter asks for my attention and upon receiving it has already quickly strayed to another customer (even if the other customer was at the same table as me). Thus, when a waitress at Blucabana asked for my order, interrupting a conversation I was having and then before I could start saying my order quickly moved to the other end of the table to attend to another person in the group I was dining with, it wasn’t a winning point for Blucabana as far as my perception of your service goes. Upon her return and apology (a redeeming factor), I realized that she had meant no harm by her action but was merely overwhelmed by the large table she was attempting to serve. It seemed to me that the waitress, though possessing the right amount of positive energy, lacked the confidence and focus that was needed to take control of her table and set the pace such that she did not end up appearing to be flustered.

My questioning of your waiters’ abilities was further escalated when I finally placed my order and said “I’ll have the steak”, to which she initially feigned confusion, looked at the menu page and asked “do you mean the tenderloin steak?” Last I checked, there was no other steak item on the menu. However, it could be debated that she was right in confirming my order so that’s a non-issue. The issue, however, occurred when I told her that I wanted my steak prepared medium-rare, to which she looked at me like I was mad and said she doesn’t know if that could be done. For the sake of speeding things up since she was serving a large group of people (not to mention my not wanting to sound like a pretentious jerk), I asked her to bring the steak however the kitchen prepared it. That was a big mistake on my part. The thing with tenderloin steak is that when cooked beyond medium-rare, it begins to lose its tenderness. In essence, the longer you cook tenderloin steak, the less tender and more dry it becomes. Thus, when I received a piece of steak that was charred in certain parts and which only possessed moisture due to the dish’s sauce rather than the steak’s own juices, I was quite disappointed. I had initially been struck by the balance the meals on your menu seemed to possess, and subsequently felt a little shut down by overcooked meat. That being said, the dish in itself as a whole was not unpleasant and another individual who ate the same order claims to have actually enjoyed his steak.

Regarding your entire menu, you have a good and broad selection of menu items that makes Blucabana a great choice for both lunch and dinner. However, despite the depth of your menu, neither me nor the five or so people I discussed the dishes you serve with were able to find that hmph factor that takes your food to the next level. Is it good food? Yes. Is it exemplary food matching the (perceived) level of the establishment? No. Not only do I feel that you need one or two more exciting menu items, but you also need to enhance the quality of the food itself. I feel you are fine in the departments of presentation, speed of delivery, and balance of menu items; it is only where exemplary taste is concerned that you are lacking. Also, I decided to try your signature cocktail; “the Blucabana”. It was not bad. Tasted exactly the way I expect a deep blue drink to taste (yea yea yea, I shamelessly sipped a blue drink in public).

All in all, I believe that Blucabana offers a wholesome and worthwhile experience. Given the impressive nature of your establishment in and of itself, my first glance through your menu made me feel as though you could easily get away with charging higher prices than you currently charge and being justified to do so. However, considering you still don’t have those kaboom menu items, I conclude that the best thing about Blucabana is that given the cost to patronize the place, the overall experience is certainly worthwhile.   

Please feel free to contact AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com if you represent Blucabana and would like to respond.

Warm Regards,

Akanmu

Woks & Koi - Not so strongly worded letter

AkanmuAbuja@gmail.om

Rating: 8/10

Woks & Koi – Chinese Restaurant

2^nd floor, Silverbird Entertainment Center

Plot 1161 Memorial Drive

Central Area, Abuja, Nigeria.

Letter to Woks & Koi Management

Dear Woks & Koi Management,

This is a not so strongly worded letter to express my opinions following my experience at your establishment. I should inform you that this letter is being made available to the public through the internet, primarily for the purpose of empowering other consumers.

On principle, I don’t like the idea of an “upscale” Chinese restaurant that doesn’t have exemplary Chinese food. In my book, if a Chinese restaurant is on the pricy side of things and the food is not exemplary, the restaurant should possess characteristics such that a customer’s overall experience at the restaurant is haunting enough to validate the price. That being said, given the price-range, food quality, and overall dining experience provided at Woks & Koi, the restaurant manages to stumble into the realm of ‘definitely worth the price’.

Whenever I walk past your restaurant, let alone dine in it, I imagine that someone had a vision of creating a nice Chinese restaurant in a building with significant traffic and has in my opinion combined great vision with excellent execution. To outline the relevance of my views on your restaurant’s seemingly upscale nature and quality of food, I’ll begin by pointing out that to me Woks & Koi is more of a P.F. Chang’s than a Mr. Chow. This is a relevant categorization because both P.F. Chang’s and Mr. Chow are arguably upscale Chinese restaurants in the United States of America with the former being less expensive and providing lower quality food (especially where authenticity is concerned) but managing to validate its higher than average menu prices (for Chinese food) based on its yummy dish selections and nice décor (nicer than cheap/typical Chinese restaurants). It is also notable that P.F. Chang franchises tend to be conveniently located in places like malls where consumerism is at its most active. In short, similar to P.F. Chang’s, Woks & Koi does not have exemplary Chinese food but provides an overall quality dining experience that validates not being a cheap (as is typical) Chinese restaurant. At the risk of rendering the points made above moot, I should note that the quality of food at Woks & Koi is perfectly acceptable, while I don’t expect any Chinese restaurant in Nigeria to be cheap/averagely priced, and also that Woks & Koi is in fact not in any way notably more expensive than the establishment that has been the signature Chinese restaurant in Abuja for over a decade; Chopsticks.

Upon entering Woks & Koi, one of the things that first impressed me was the good feng shui, exemplary lighting, and astute furnishing that make up a wonderful dining atmosphere. A great dining atmosphere becomes particularly relevant given the location of your restaurant. Upon entering Woks & Koi, I sense the immediate transformation in energy from the brightly lit mall hallway I was previously in to a softly lit room with an overall calming feel to it. Complementing the great atmosphere to create an overall quality dining experience (sans consideration of the food) are nice waiters with great attitudes and fairly elegant mannerisms (at least elegant intentions).

Your menu itself enjoys the type of depth that at first sight tends to bother me in Chinese restaurants because based on my past experiences, such a wide selection on a menu usually results in certain types of food being weaker than others. However, after trying a range of items from your menu, I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Although I still refuse to pay you the compliment of calling your food exemplary, I have to acknowledge that the food you provide tastes good, is well-prepared, and is even well-presented. Nonetheless, Woks & Koi is at the end of the day a restaurant and so may do well from having a few menu items that rise to the level of exemplary such that your restaurant itself would rise to a similar plane. In fact, having the types of great menu items I speak of would lead to word spreading such that the hundreds of potential customers who walk by your restaurant weekly and think “that place is probably just filled with overpriced food that won’t change my life” will have cause to reconsider. Thus, can the depth of your menu and quality of your food be improved? Certainly

At the end of the day, the most important issue to consider is whether you were able to provide a restaurant such that given its location (at the heart of a building that is a fine example of Nigeria’s slow journey towards modernized and centralized consumerism of the nature that inevitably results in establishments with overpriced goods and services), the quality of food served, and overall dining experience is worth patronizing. Woks & Koi meets the mark.

Please feel free to contact AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com if you represent Woks & Koi and would like to respond.

Warm Regards,

Akanmu

DURBAN PARK - Not so strongly worded letter

AkanmuAbuja@gmail.om

Rating: 7.3/10

Durban Park - “The Garden” – Restaurant & Bar

Amadu Bello Way (Turn right off Aminu Kano right after Amigo Supermarket)

Wuse 2, Abuja, Nigeria.

Letter to Durban Park Garden Management

Dear Durban Park Garden Management,

This is a not so strongly worded letter to express my opinions following my experience at your establishment. I should inform you that this letter is being made available to the public through the internet, primarily for the purpose of empowering other consumers.

This letter is only relevant when one considers how most park/gardens in Abuja are and realizes that Durban Park stands apart. To cut to the chase, I will list out the intrinsic values that make Durban Park one of Abuja’s hidden gems and a unique place as far as garden/parks in town go:

Why the Garden at Durban Park is Different from Other Garden/Parks in Abuja:

Ø  Durban Park isn’t one of those garden/parks where you see random old men with “prostis”.

Ø  Durban Park isn’t one of those garden/parks where you see randoms (sketchy people) of any age.

Ø  Durban Park isn’t one of those garden/parks where you see women who look like “prostis” looking for business (it is worrisome that this is something I even have to note when discussing a nighttime spot in Abuja).

Ø  Durban Park isn’t one of those garden/parks with obnoxious live music.

Ø  Durban Park isn’t one of those garden/parks where your options for food are limited to uniquely prepared meat – (not that this place couldn’t be enhanced if it had some grilled fish and bad ass Igbo goat meat thing whose’ name I only happen to remember in certain gardens after a few beers).

Ø  Durban Park isn’t one of those garden/parks where a customer and their parked car feel unease where safety or distance between parked car and main bar area are concerned.

Notable Things about Durban Park

v    Durban Park has a vast menu with a lot of different types of food, most of which is well-prepared and tastes great. The Burger is noteworthy.

v    You have an ambitious pizza menu with a surprisingly wide range of different types of pizza. The key word here is ambitious. Finding a good pizza spot in Abuja has proven tricky for me and given the feedback other people have about the pizza they’ve had in town, I suspect the snob in me is more responsible for this than the quality of pizza in town. That being said, personally, I was not thrilled by the pizza I tried from your menu. On the other hand, I wasn’t overly disappointed either.

v    The food and drinks on your menu are priced reasonably given the type of place it is compared to other garden/parks and the fact that it is in Wuse 2. That being said, it fails my “would the average man leave here after a full experience feeling like their wallet didn’t take a slight bump” test. (But then this raises many questions about my insight into what the “average man” in Abuja’s wallet and willingness to spend on a night out is so feel free to take my test with a pinch of salt).

v    There is sheesha available.

v    The crowd is on the more sophisticated side of the spectrum… as far as garden/parks are concerned.

v    There is a covered area with booths, which is a plus for people who want some degree of privacy without losing out on the open-air atmosphere.

v    The anti-décor (my personal way of describing décor in an outdoor, yet enclosed area) at Durban Park is well-conceived and adds significant value to the overall experience. A lot of garden/parks suffer from having a main bar area that lacks focus and isn’t well-organized. At Durban Park, the main restaurant/bar area is set up such that it is enclosed in an area where customers can enter following a light security check and have the option of sitting at low tables on the grass; going to a higher section with hardwood floors, booths, and some small tables; or alternatively, sitting at one of the high stool/tables.

v    You usually have a good DJ and good music. The DJ plays a wide range of music (at some point I heard a track off Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix and was pleasantly surprised).

v    On some nights when I’ve been there, there is some….entertainment… where some guy balances spinning bottles, does tricks with fire, and displays other stuff (there isn’t really a more eloquent or elaborate way to describe it), which was amusing to me after a couple of drinks but otherwise seemed dumb.

v    Durban Park is something of an expatriate joint. I have seen many more foreigners (politically correct attempt at saying “white people”) here than any other outdoor bar in Abuja. This is a noteworthy point because it provides further insight into the type of environment Durban Park offers (yea yea yea-colonial mentality accusation worthy statement).

v    The overall attitude of your waiters is great. However, the quality of your service is diminished due to the fact that it sometimes takes a long while for orders to arrive. Furthermore, there is a tendency for customers closer to the kitchen to get better and quicker service than others seated in further away sections like the booths.

Personally, I am not big on garden/parks for many of the reasons discussed above. However, after going to a few different garden/parks in Abuja, I find that Durban Park is notable because it somehow manages to remain a garden in a park without many of the unattractive (to me anyway) clichés that define many other gardens in Abuja. This very reason may be why Durban Park would not be my recommendation to anyone who is looking for the typical garden/park night out. However, Durban Park is my recommendation for anyone who is looking for the rustic pleasures that accompany an outdoor bar/restaurant in a busy city without any of the disharmony and rawness that may detract from the experience.

Please feel free to contact AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com if you represent Durban Park and would like to respond.

Warm Regards,

Akanmu