BUNNA CAFE - Strongly Worded Letter

AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com

Rating: 4/10

January, 2013

"Bunna Café" – Coffee Shop/Bar

Third Floor of the Silverbird Mall

Wuse Zone 4, Abuja, Nigeria.

Please see the bottom of this letter in the Highlights/Review section, as well as the bold sentences for the brief version of this letter/review.

Letter to Bunna Café Management

Dear Bunna Café Management,

This is a strongly worded letter to express my opinions following my experience at your establishment. I should inform you that this letter is being made available to the public through the internet, primarily for the purpose of empowering or entertaining other consumers curious about your establishment.

Since I haven’t tasted too many of your beverages, I will give you the benefit of the doubt by making some assumptions.

Firstly, I’d like to commend you on the idea of placing a coffee shop in one of the busiest buildings in the city. For all intents and purposes, you are a front runner in what I feel is the inevitable rise in the popularity of cafes in Nigerian society has as been the case in many other developing and developed nations. That being said, the execution of this well-conceived notion is terrible.

There is almost nothing about this café that makes the 500 Naira on average cup of coffee worthwhile.

In classic strongly worded letter fashion, I will go ahead and rant about my terrible experience at your café on 11.30am on a Tuesday:

I walked in and said “I’d like a mocha please”, to which the lady taking the order rudely asked “which one?” I then said, a regular mocha, at which she asked again “ehn, which one?” So I looked up at the menu (initially intentionally avoiding it because I wanted to see how fluidly an order could be made) and said, “the classic mocha”, to which she then replied “ehn, you’ll say the classic mocha now” (because of course “regular” and “classic” mocha differ greatly). Nonetheless, I won’t hold the impatience and rudeness against the lady as the ZERO other customers in line before and after me may have made her feel I should be more expedient about ordering.

Anyway, after the lady took my order and the 1,000 Naira note I paid for the 600 Naira medium sized beverage, she simply said “you can sit down”. As I was utterly confused, I asked “do I get any change?” and she said “yes, I’ll bring it to you with your coffee. Shey you’re staying here and it’s not to go”.

And now the rant:

(yea, I was just warming up above)

Alright. Firstly, I never indicated that I was staying to consume my coffee. Secondly, how about you first let a customer know the reason why you will not be giving them their change right away? Thirdly, why so rude? Fourthly, why is it that when there were only 6 other customers, 5 of whom were already served, it took my mocha over 10 minutes to get to me? Let’s assume it was because the mocha was made with love and care (some coffee shops do indeed make an unnecessary show out of making beverages so that wouldn't be too odd…no sarcasm intended), in which case, my next question becomes why was there whipped cream on my mocha without me being consulted first about whether or not I wanted whipped cream on my mocha? Oh, and by the way, I HATE whipped cream on a mocha. Also, let’s assume the whipped cream thing is as a result of the establishment being in a society where health consciousness is stressed to a significantly lower degree than others and so whipped cream is ASSUMED to be a yumminess that all people enjoy in mochas despite the unnecessary calorie intake and detraction from a mocha’s true taste. With that assumption, my next question is why is there literally only one plug-in/socket in the entire café area? Especially when the café has available wifi? I mean, I understand, and in fact embrace the fact that wifi here is not free but requires one to purchase it because, hey, you’re located on the busiest floor of a public building and you don’t want moochers (although you should still consider finding a way to give access to paying customers). Nonetheless, why not have some plug-ins for your customers who do decide to patronize the wifi portion of your business? Does it seem like great business acumen when people cannot charge the devices you expect them to pay a fee to browse on?

But all that aside, let’s go to the main question shall we? Why did my mocha taste disgusting? There is no other way to put it. It tasted as though I was having a regular cup of coffee where the coffee beans were burnt (at least a good cup of regular coffee would have been less harsh tasting) and then whipped cream was dumped on top of it. Either that or you somehow used a bad batch of espresso or cocoa (me not knowing what other logic could make a mocha taste so bad but one of those two things). What I do know is that the taste was harsh and unpleasant, even despite the whipped cream that was forced on me. I can unequivocally say that after having drank mochas from even small non-chain sketchy coffee shops in who gives a f* Grinnell, Iowa (no offense Grinnell) and random gas stations in Bowling Green, Kentucky, this is the worst mocha I have ever tasted. (Yea, I just said your coffee was worse than gas station coffee). It isn't just that it was not as good as others, it is that it literally tasted terrible and very much unlike a mocha. In fact, like I said, it did not taste even as good as a decent cup of even dark-roasted black coffee. I felt like running home and getting some of that instant Nescafe coffee, throwing some Milo in a cup with it, and enjoying a significantly better cup than whatever it is you served me.

Rant over.

My strong words being delivered, I will give your café credit for its beautiful wooden interior and nice set-up. I even like that there is a liquor bar with counter tops on one side of the large café area. This means that people can get an alcoholic drink and perhaps catch a game on the big screen TV behind the bar. Furthermore, I like coffee shops that deliver my beverage to my table in nice ceramic cups and saucers and so for that I give you kudos. In fact, I believe a customer can literally walk in, find a seat, and a waiter would approach them with a menu.

Unfortunately, my tongue lashing reignites when I think of the temperature in here. Why was it so warm and uncomfortable? I will assume it is because the entire Silverbird building has central air and so you have little control over the temperature. In which case, my advice is that you get some control over the air in your coffee shop where warm beverages are served and employees are exposed to warmth as they prepare drinks. I don’t want a sweaty barista and I damn sure am unhappy to be seating here with my uncharged ipad, writing this review while sweating.

Sure didn't help you that on my second visit, I ordered a chai tea latte and although this time, I tasted some chai tea latte in there, it was much too sweet to allow that kick that should come with the drink. I'm beginning to think you just don't know how to prepare the beverages that truly validate a cafe visit versus one just preparing their own coffee at home. Furthermore, during my second visit, I felt warmer and began to sweat, which was when I looked up and realized that during my first visit, I had sat near the one air conditioning unit you have and so during the second visit I when I sat far from it, I felt even warmer and more uncomfortable than the first time.

After those first few poor experiences, I have decided to not waste anymore hard-earned money on beverages at your establishment. I do promise to try a regular cup of coffee soon, at which point I will re-rate you and write a new review. Until then though, please get yourselves together for the sake of the few of us who love coffee and coffee shops.

                                                                                                                             

Please feel free to contact AkanmuAbuja@gmail.com if you represent Bunna café and would like to respond.

Warm Regards,

Akanmu

Highlights/Review

1.     This café is not worth spending money on unless you visit the bar for an alcoholic beverage because you very badly need an alcoholic beverage on this very floor of the building and is not willing to walk somewhere else to get some.

2.     The prices are actually reasonable in theory but terrible since the coffee ends up not being worth it.

3.     The interior is nicely furnished and when the blinds are raised and the sun is just at the right point in the sky, the wood allows one to enjoy a refreshing glow. Also, the café usually appears to be neat, making it a nice spot to sit in and get some work done (provided it isn't at a time when building is packed, given that this is in fact the busiest floor of the building and the noise will spill into the cafe).